Keeping in Touch

I wish I had news for you all, but I don't. It is just as quiet on the adoption front over here as it is on the blog. But that is not to say that we're not still thinking and praying. We may not be considered parents by any government or society standards, but our hearts tell a different story.

We miss our Little Man every day and pray for him. We do not know how our future will play out, but we have been irrevocably changed through this journey. Through this time of hurt and confusion, we are learning to admit we have no control. Our eyes have been opened to new truths.

While we do not know what is coming, we are excited, and a little fearful, at all of the prospects. We can no longer live in ignorance, and we do not want to. Our boy may never have stepped foot in our house, but his life has already affected every corner of our home. Living through these trials has opened our minds to many other possibilities, and that is exciting.

Clinging to Hope

I have a song to share with you today. A friend told me to listen to this song several weeks ago as encouragement. Then it just so happened that they included this song in the worship set at our church yesterday. I'm not going to lie. I struggle with the lyrics of this song right now, but I also recognize the truth in it.

There is a lot of worry and fear in our house at this time. Our adoption is now plagued by the unknown. We have so many questions about the future of our little family, and there really are no answers right now. We are hurting. And we are clinging to hope.

We (and by "we" I mostly mean me) are a mess. My adopting friend and I were joking the other day about how our friends and family just don't quite know what to do with us right now. I can smile and cry in the same sentence. I think I tear up every Sunday during the music. I cry during all of the fake scenarios that are constantly playing out in my head. And I am not normally big on sharing my emotions outwardly.

Don't get me wrong. We HAVE been greatly blessed. Last year we were woken from our routine and called to a little boy in another country. We will never regret the 5 days we visited, played with, and loved on our Little Man. He has forever changed our lives. We will keep fighting for him, and for all of the other children without families (both domestic and international) for as long as we are able. And if God allows us to bring our Little Man home, we know you will all be rejoicing with us.

So, if you are wondering about all the silence, I hope this helps clear things up. The truth is that we have more questions than answers right now. And to be honest, we don't really know what to say. The only thing we can really do for the present time is to ask you to join us in prayer.

This song is called "Sovereign Over Us" by Aaron Keyes.

Here are the lyrics:
V1
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You're teaching us to trust

CHORUS
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us

V2
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight

BR
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory

Merry Christmas, baby!

We miss you so much!

We think about you every day and can't wait to hear your laugh again!

Love,
Mama and Papa

On My Knees

The band, Seryn, has a song called On My Knees. These are the full lyrics:

On my knees I can see,
Where my heart needs to be.
When this life gets to me,
I'll be found on my knees.

A song with simple lyrics, but filled with so much truth. On our knees is where you will find us today. Our hearts are hurting, but we know our God is bigger than all of this. So often I forget to go to God in prayer when life gets to me. Yet things are often so much clearer when I simply change my viewpoint.

I hope this song can awaken something within you as well. (As a note, the last half of the track is instrumental.)

Holiday Greetings

Well, it's a little late, but we want to say Happy Holidays to everyone. Thank you all for your prayers and well-wishes after our last post. We have enjoyed spending our holiday with family, but there is definitely a sense of uncertainty hanging over our lives right now. Our Little Man is so loved and even received some Christmas gifts of his own. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Please Pray

I don't know what else to do right now, but to ask you to please pray.

Pray for political leaders in all nations.
Pray for wisdom for those leaders and for the government officials.
Pray that our son will not be a victim of political backlash.
Pray that whatever God's plan, he will protect our sweet Little Man.
Pray that we have the courage to press on no matter what.
Pray that our hearts will not be hardened by this turmoil.
Pray for my hurting and angry mama's heart.
Pray that we will continue to trust God's control.
Pray for our precious boy to be surrounded by love.
Pray for all of the other families who are just as confused and panicked right now as we are.
Pray for all of the children, worldwide, who are hurt by the decisions and actions of the adults around them.
Please pray.

There's not much to say, but that some laws are being considered that would directly affect our adoption. There is a possibility that we might not be allowed to bring home our son. I am struggling with hope today.

"Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying." Romans 12:12

Regular Programming

Well, we're home and definitely back to regular programming. Today I thought that it had been over two weeks since we got back, and Drew corrected me to say that it has only been 10 days.

It feels like so much longer!!

Everything is the same. We work during the week. Hang out with Sherlock in the evenings. Make dinner. Watch TV. Life group on Wednesdays. Church on Sundays.

But everything is also different...We love a precious little boy that doesn't live with us. We pray for him by name at night. We show pictures on our phones to everyone we meet. Days are calculated by how much closer we may be to going back to see him. We talk about and plan the future considering what our son will like and enjoy. We can picture his laughter filling up the house. We imagine the sound of his footsteps running down the hallway.

Only two stockings this year

This journey has already been such a blessing. Our lives are so much fuller now that we have met our Little Man. God has already used this experience to teach us in so many ways, and we can't wait to see how Little Man will help us grow and learn as time goes on.

 

Here's what I pray for you: Father, may their love grow more and more in wisdom and insight -- so they will be able to examine and determine the best from everything else. And on the day of the Liberating King, the day of His judgement, let them stand pure and blameless, filled with the fruit of authentic righteousness that ripens through Jesus, the Liberator. All this I pray, with a view to God's ultimate praise and glory. - Philippians 1:9-11 (The Voice translation)